Soul Vs. Ego: How To Heal Your Anxiety
There are two powers that ignite us, motivate us and determine our entire experience for as long as they reign:
Love VS Fear
When I was a kid, I ate an ant. Yup, true story and super proud moment. Not because it was on the menu but because it was a dare. I was also told I would be given $100 from my brother, who was probably about 8yrs old at the time. Of course, I’m still waiting for that $100! But it became clear, pretty early on, that my little ego had something to prove. I had some competition in me. I was willing to eat an ant! Likely, just to prove that I was not afraid. At 6 years old I also climbed to the top of what was undoubtedly the tallest tree in the neighborhood and the fire department had to come and get me down! I was up for a dare.
We both should pat ourselves on the back right now for simply making it through our childhood and all the way to today. While you may not have eaten an ant, (I know, bummer) I know you absorbed, learned and lived through incredible challenges. Some were blissful and some painful. Both, shaped how you experience your life today.
You see, this earth school was not meant to be all star dust and light. That doesn’t exist. We live with duality and learning to navigate our own duality of pain vs. joy and love vs. fear, may be the whole point to this life. So if this seems like a different way of thinking, stay tuned! I’m sharing some really big stuff here. If this is not a new concept, then you likely know that all learning is remembering. So you’ve navigated here likely to remember and awaken once again to your soul’s path. So on we go to resonate with this understanding of our mission here as intuitive beings.
Soul vs Ego
EGO : So like a second ago, I told you to pat yourself on the back. But really, your Ego deserves some love. It is working so hard to protect you and keep you safe with some very limited resources: Shame and Fear. Your Ego is also known as your personality and it tends to want center stage. If you google Ego you’ll see all sorts of negative press. However, without it, you would cease to exist. Remember this the next time you are self sabotaging and skip the gym for that Ben and Jerry’s binge or pass up an awesome opportunity to shine because it was just too anxiety producing. Because really, your ego needs your love. It is the part of you that is always scanning for threat and craves comfort. It is the inner voice that wants you to stay still because many times change is a threat. Your ego has been with you since childhood and has been keeping you alive and safe. If you have experienced abuse or trauma, especially as a child, you are even more susceptible to a cruel inner critic. Your ego learned at the time of this abuse or trauma it needed to keep you in line and small in order to keep you under the radar. Step out of line or attempt to expand your powerful self and the ego can be mean. As children, we all created brilliant ways to survive difficult experiences. But for most of us, these coping mechanisms we used as a child now suffocate us as adults. The ego started off brilliant. Yet, this inner voice that is constantly scanning and judging now, is likely getting in the way of your greatness.
SOUL: All the while, your Soul is whispering in the background. It is your essence, your intuition and your gut reaction. Your soul is that “knowing” feeling you experience when it’s nudging you to take an alternative route or take a leap of faith. Your soul is the voice of love. While your ego is fueled by your mind, your soul is connected to the Divine, Universe, Spirit, God or however you refer to the greater power that exists and guides you. Your soul has no attachment to fear. It’s job is to support your expansion and growth. It simply wants to light you up and encourage you to explore the unknown for inspiration toward your highest good. Your soul has very little interest in keeping you safe but it is really invested in setting you free.
But here is the really juicy part. If you create a deeper relationship listening to your soul (meditation), you will create a far more meaningful, successful and joyful life. You will see anxiety and depression be replaced by magic. And by default those around you will begin to vibrate higher or unfortunately, they may need to vibrate out. It may be your life’s work to build this relationship with yourself.
So again, we live with duality. I am not all light. I am always learning how to embrace my ego’s pain, insecurities, illnesses and “darkness” until I find the lesson. Once I find the meaning of my mind/ body pain, I see my soul’s next lesson. Then it’s time to sit my but down and listen. Just simply tune inward. We just need to allow the power of our divine connection to ditch the shame of our ego’s fear.
So check out this list and ask yourself what is your self talk and inner experience reflecting more of? The connection to your Soul’s voice or the voice of your Ego?
YOUR EGO’S VOICE
Voice of fear
Wants you to hide out/ fear and anxiety
Wants the prize. (proof of worth)
Sees limitations/what could go wrong/
Wants Love
Anxious/mistrusting
Creates shame
I don’t want to owe anybody anything
Seeks control/ Controlling
I must have all the answers
Your false power source
Aspires to comfort or fear based achievement
I must be busy/useful to be worthy & enough
Motivation is fear, shame perfectionism
YOUR SOUL’S VOICE
Voice of love
Wants to light you up
Loves the journey
Sees limitless possibilities
Is Love
Trusting
Self accepting
Receiving is beautiful
Surrendering to the unknown
Its okay to not know
Your true power source
Aspires to Greatness
I take really good care of myself
Motivation is purpose and passion
Healing Self doubt and anxiety
If you are struggling with self doubt, anxiety and/or depression you are likely spending a lot of time with Ego. In fact, if your Ego has been running the show for a while your body and mind have likely begun to vibrate at a lower frequency, literally. When we vibrate at a lower frequency we experience exhaustion, illness, low mood and irritability. Also, our nervous system is impacted and can develop that very real physical experience of anxiety (shakiness, racing heart and thoughts, lack of focus, muscle pain, digestive issues and even food intolerance.) Our immune system as well as our hormonal system are both impacted by this lack of life force energy needed to stay in balance.
In my practice I have mixed up a secret sauce that really seems to help committed people move from depression and anxiety into experiencing real magic! Ill share here a few ingredients that are part of that journey from madness to magic!
#1 Allow/Accept- Stop Resisting What Is
“The Ego says, ‘I shouldn’t have to suffer’ and that thought makes you suffer so much more.”
Human suffering is usually found in our resistance to “what is” and not usually the presenting problem. The truth is, you are right on time. You are not suppose to be any different than you are right now. The obstacles in your path ARE the path. It is the pain your Ego creates (with it’s reactions of fear, disgust and resistance) that can consume you. Most times, it is not the presenting issue that is the real problem. It is your reaction to the issue that causes you pain.
This is important to understand and digest. So for example, something happens that you perceive as negative. For the sake of this example we’ll say that you were passed up on a promotion at work. Now, you (your ego) begin to create all these thoughts and feelings around it (resistance, disgust and fear). “I cant believe this, how dare they, I am never seen for my value, maybe I’m really not any good)
Meanwhile, your soul is doing a dance excited to get this job out of the way to move onwards to what is next. But your ego is creating a narrative that plugs into your pain and fear. Now multiply this whole experience by 10. This is how many times a day some of us experience painful reactions to even smaller things which we perceive as negative events. Pretty exhausting right?
But what if you learned to quiet the ego and tap quickly into your intuition to hear the real reasons why all is unfolding this way? Or at least feel and then trust the message from your soul that all is working toward your highest good. What if you learned to trust what is?
You see, the soul and the ego coexist; neither are truly good or bad. It is your job, maybe the entire point of your life, to move through the pain of your ego into the fulfillment of your soul.
Start right now by acknowledging what resonates for you on the list above. Journaling can be powerful. Take some time to put pen to paper and explore what is blocking you from being more connected to your soul’s energy and life purpose. Really, sit with that. Then, embrace the pain. Make room for it. Allow it to breath and be seen. It is information your highest intelligence wants you to know. That is what your emotions really are, information. So meet them with love and compassion before moving onto the next step. This is a particularly difficult time to surrender to “what is” in the midst of this pandemic. Check out Surrendering To The Teachings Of A Virus to explore ways to cope and shift during this time.
Now, try the Ho’oponopono Prayer:
Find a quiet spot. Close your eyes and take some deep breaths. Relax the body more deeply, cross your hands over your heart and repeat these words out loud to yourself: ( Repeat this payer 5-10 times until you FEEL it! )
I love you.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
Seem too simple? I totally get that response. I challenge you to do it anyway. May seem simple but there is a reason why I use it as often as I do… it gets you into your heart. Because my friend, you have likely been living in your mind. Living in your mind is why you are spinning in your head and less connected to yourself as a whole. This prayer opens up the heart chakra and brings you into your body. Keep tissues nearby!
#2 How to Listen To Your Soul
I promise you, if you are willing to meditate, you can begin to build your intuitive guidance and a deeper relationship with your soul. This is where the magic lives. Sounds nice right? Notice I said willing? If you have difficulty sitting and being for 10-20 minutes, that my friend, is information. You are not incapable of meditating. It’s just that for years you have probably been avoiding what you perceived as an inability to tolerate that discomfort. And likely, it’s what you do. You stay busy.
Some people say, “ I can’t help it I’m driven!”
Trust me, there is a difference between drive and addiction. Drive makes your soul soar as you fulfill its’ mission. While an addiction to busy keeps you disconnected from your soul and depletes and exhausts you. If this resonates, this will be an awesome start to sitting with what comes up. Tackle this addiction and I promise the payoff is incredible. For more inspiration on tackling the underlying beliefs that fuel this addiction go to Is This Belief Keeping You Constantly Busy?
Getting quiet and learning to listen instead of avoiding, is a crucial step to this secret sauce I mentioned earlier. Your pain and discomfort is such important information. When you simply avoid, you are bypassing an incredible opportunity to use intuition as guidance.
Instead, try listening to the wisdom of your pain and increase your intuition and change how you experience your life. It just will. Learning to love who you are is part of answering that big question, who am I? That’s a hard one for most of us. Am I right?
Meditation is one of the few ways to explore who you are on a deeper level beyond your everyday busy thoughts.
Here are a few simple steps to get started:
Find a spot to sit comfortably. This is not about sleep but truely being awake and present. So typically I recommend sitting straight up in a supportive chair. If your limited on time keep a clock nearby. Unplug from any distractions.
Practice some mindfulness to quiet the mind. In order to hear the guidance and intuition of your soul you must relax the chatter of your mind. Take 5 minutes to simply allow your thoughts to surface.
Once you notice them, you can label them (judgment, anxiety, have to’s, shoulds, guilt, anger, etc).
Then visualize the thought evaporating. Detach and take a deep breath saying right here, right now. Breathing in and out.
Once settled into a calm state, begin to practice listening. You can begin this by asking questions that you would like to receive some guidance on.
Open up your senses to any possible messages. Anything from a thought to an image that pops up can be guidance. Consider it a conversation with yourself, except this part of you is your higher self and holds so much more wisdom! Emotions are also important information being conveyed. So continue on with the next meditation, Listening To Your Emotions.
#3 Learn How To Listen To Your Emotions
In order to create major shifts in your life, this exercise is a must in my book. We must learn to sit with our emotions and hear what they have to teach us.
To begin sit comfortably and take a moment to take some nice deep breaths and relax all the muscles of the body. Are you are trained in Reiki or another healing modality? If yes, bonus! That will open you up exponentially. Start with a self Reiki healing to open the heart.
Once you feel relaxed connect to yourself in this moment. by saying “Right here Right now, I am here for you.”
If you are having a hard time getting out of your head, go back and do the Ho’oponopono Prayer. Then come back to this.
Next, with your hands on your heart, Ask yourself this:
“Show me what emotions I need to feel in order to feel better (or in order to heal_________. Fill in the blank.) Wait for it…
Once you feel something showing up notice how you feel in your body, where is it located? Give it a shape or color.
Next, keeping your hands on your heart, say to that emotion; “I see you, I feel you, I hear you, I won’t ignore you.”
Next, ask, “What do you need from me to feel better?” (crucial question) Simply listen and be patient. Remember, trust everything and anything is important.
Once you’ve received any sort of instructions (could be a memory or reminder, a message from your intuitive self or any other useful feedback) say: “Thank you” and “what else do you need from me?”
Once you’ve received the message, then ask “Anything else?
Once this feels complete begin again, asking what is the next emotion you need to experience in order to heal. Repeat the steps above.
Once finished, Take a nice deep breath. Starting from the top of your head clear out any residual emotion or any energy that no longer serves you. Taking a deep breath and clearing it all out through your feet into the ground. Feel your feet, feel grounded.
#4 Share Your Vulnerability And Be Seen
Its so important that you practice being seen. So find a trustworthy source to share your true feelings with. You want to choose people who know how to listen. These people seek to understand and are curious before trying to be understood. Once you’ve completed the above exercise it would be so incredibly valuable to share what came up with another person.
Healing alone and healing together are two different experiences. There is a time for both. But being vulnerable and being seen and valued with another soul is invaluable. The catch is most of your friends and family don’t really know how to listen. Many of them have habits of relating. And possibly, that’s been more comfortable for you. But, it hasn’t served you. Many of us have that “I don’t want to be a burden ‘button’”. You know, it goes a little something like this; you finally share your vulnerability, the other person digests it through their own historical data base and they say “I totally get it! I had the same thing happen to me once. This is what you should do.”
Trust me, this is not a healing experience for you. I mean if you were trying to fix your laptop maybe, but not to mend your heart. You might also notice that when you do make it about you, you are quick to want to take care of the other person and shift the attention off of you. I call this the Bait and Switch. You know, when you share a vulnerable feeling and you just feel that person gearing up to say either the wrong thing or something that will keep the attention on you for too long. So you quickly ask them a question about themselves. They take the bait and it’s over faster than speeding bullet. Phew, much better! Not.
My suggestion is to find a therapist, healer or coach who can truly hold space for you. Someone who doesn’t let you squirm out of it but makes you feel safe,heard and valued. Totally different experience. This in itself may take a leap of faith. At first, this may feel like you are treading into uncomfortable territory . Trust, if it pulls at you, it’s important to you. Take the leap.
Shine on⭐️
Michelle
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